RecoverOz

Recovery from addiction is a journey. It is also a process. It is not an event.

Approximately 80% of people who suffer from addictive disease report as having been sexually abused. It is an astonishing figure. But, no matter why we have become addicted, whether it be to alcohol, drugs, gambling etc., all addiction is avoidance and pain relief. We all come to treatment with a background of abuse of some kind, however, the day comes for all of us to say….. Enough is Enough. It is a time to acknowledge that the only ones that are abusing ourselves is ourselves. It is a time to square up and face the pain, and it is a very difficult and painful thing to do. Childhood abuse of any kind must be dealt with but the immediate self abuse has to stop so that the mind and body can heal. Then we gradually are able to deal with things in the past. Healing takes time and it is in stages. Each stage has specific tasks which must be worked through completely before people can move on to successfully complete the tasks of the next stage.

The following is adapted from the Stages of Recovery by renowned author and clinician Terry Gorski and The Five Stages Of Recovery by Phil Rich Ed.D., MSW, DCSW

Stage 1: Awareness and Early Acknowledgment is:

1. The development of motivating problems.
2. The failure of normal problem solving.
3. The failure of controlled use strategies.
4. Finally, the acceptance of the need to stop addictive drinking and using.

These stages are really the ones that pave the way for recovery, and it begins with a growing awareness that there is a problem with addiction. In this stage people are still engaging in addictive behaviours and, are often pushed towards this stage by family or friends, health, financial, work, or legal problems. The end of this stage is marked by an acknowledgment that action is needed to address these issues. This involves a shift in cause and effect. i.e. “I drink because of all my problems” to “My problems are caused by drinking”

Stage 2: Stabilisation is:

1. The recovery from immediate after-effects, usually requiring medical care.
2. The recognition of the need for help and to stay in care.
3. Dealing with pathological preoccupation to substances.
4. Learning non-chemical stress management methods.
5. The gradual development of hope and motivation.

This stage is still a precursor to the recovery process, but it is the first step towards it.
It is characterised by a willingness to look at ideas other than your own. The main shift in this stage is acknowledging the realities of addiction and of the impact it is having on both your life and people around you. It is the start of breaking narcissistic thinking.

Stage 3: Exploring Recovery is:

1. The full awareness of addictive disease.
2. The full acceptance and the owning of the addiction.
3. The early practice of non-chemical coping skills.
5. The development of a recovery based value system.

This is clearly the first stage of recovery. Denial has now gone there is a clear resolve to maintain sobriety. Plans are now happening to build a future and to maintain the present state of mind. There is a realization that there is a difference between stopping and staying stopped.

Stage 4: Early Recovery to Middle Recovery is:

1. The demoralization and self-defeating thinking has started to disappear.
3. Establishing a self-regulated recovery program.
4. The start of repairing family and friendships relations is started.
4. A balance in lifestyle is considered. i.e. work, leisure, stress.
5. Adapting to change becomes a reality.

Recovery involves a change in thinking of attitudes, values, and lifestyle. This involves the acceptance of being teachable. Although this stage of recovery is still fragile, it is at this point that people feel real gratitude and a real and lasting realization that this new life can be maintained. Friendships become important. Advice becomes non-threatening and a new set of values becomes a goal in and of itself.
i.e. “my past behaviour is not who I am and my striving to be better is”.

Stage 5: Active Recovery and Maintenance is:

1. The recognition of childhood problems on present day attitudes, behaviour and problems.
2. The learning about family-of-origin issues by having a conscious examination of childhood.
4. The application of this learning to adult living.

This is recovery proper and it is a stage with no end. This is adulthood and it is life, with the realization that if we keep doing what we are doing, then we can expect a life to continue with all the hopes and aspirations of normal adult living. At this stage, people have learned self care skills, are able to self nurture without feeling guilty about it, and are conscious of their feelings, thoughts, behaviours, activities, and relationships. Effective day-to-day coping, becomes as easy or as difficult as all other “normal” people are able to manage and this develops into further growth and development as we move through life and all its transitions. This is true acceptance of life with all its joys and faults. It is also another day free of addiction.

As this article states at the start, the restoration and rebuilding of life after addiction takes place only over time. Time is a thing that addicted people do not like to hear but how much time this takes depends on the commitment to a solid recovery program. Early recovery to late recovery is a process where many succeed and also many fail. Time is the not the friend of a recovering person but acceptance and ensuing maturity that comes from time is. People with addictions these days need never go this road alone, in fact even trying to go it alone is destined to failure. Addiction needs fear and self loathing to survive, and recovery from addiction requires that we rejoin the human race.

People need people. Addiction is the opposite. It thrives on loneliness and fear.

It’s what Barbra Streisand says when she sings.."People who need people are the luckiest people in the world."